A late reflection on a tough 2025

This is a very late post to let out some of my possibly “depressive” thoughts about a tough 2025.

Some might say that being appointed as the “person-in-charge” of the bureau is something to be celebrated. But it is not as fancy as it sounds, nor is it something I wanted, especially since it meant managing other colleagues.

It was not by choice that I became the “mediator” between headquarters and the employees here. In reality, it meant that I became the punching bag over a meagre allowance.

Many things were thrown at the bureau last year. It felt like I was trapped in a prison, with sharp steel walls inching closer towards me. I wish I could list all the details here to show the gravity of each task.

What the company did to me, instead of allowing me to take a good breath and have some space between tasks, was damaging to my mental health. I must either be very resilient, or the job must pay really well for me to still be staying with the company.

There is always a fallacy surrounding the line of work I am in — that it is noble and that we are here to set things right. But 2025 seemed to show that our work carries very little significance compared with those in power, or those who know how to play the game.

Those “losers” are still back in power. Those who pretended to “play the victim” are manipulators. And us? We are still the working class.

Apart from the workload, I also came to realise that there are not many people who would come to defend me when injustices happen. There was an obvious copyright issue. The company acknowledged it, but it ultimately became a case of “No Further Action”.

Perhaps it is also the age factor. Having been in this line of work for almost 20 years, I guess I can see things more clearly now: nothing matters as much as how I appreciate my life beyond work.

That realisation has made me someone who does the work based on what I believe in or what I am curious about, instead of becoming a chess piece for anyone.

Winning awards for my work is also questionable — not because of the quality of my work (I even cross-checked the content with ChatGPT for evaluation), but because of the tampering with the entries. I managed to find out that some entries were discarded to let others win.

My father has always told me to be responsible with my duties, but that responsibility does not seem to be reciprocal on the part of the company management.

There was no salary increment, no bonus despite achieving my Key Performance Indicators, no interest in sending me on a free overseas trip, and no willingness to allow me to pursue side hustles.

Now, I proudly say to everyone that my goal in life is to play pickleball and receive my salary at the end of the month.

These simple wishes make me happy.

What if I get fired? I believe I could still find a job somewhere else.

Most importantly, I want to appreciate the life I have left beyond work.