Your Asian mom

Now that you are grown, what do you do with the parent who hurt you—and also sacrificed for you? For many adult children, success does not bring closure. It brings distance, clarity, and an uncomfortable power shift . The father who once controlled the household now ages. The child who once endured now earns, decides, and lives independently. And somewhere between obligation and resentment, a relationship continues—uneasy, unresolved. So how should a hurt but successful child react to his father now? First: by letting go of the need to rewrite the past There is a temptation to wait for acknowledgment—an apology that fully understands the harm, a confession that makes sense of the pain. But many parents, especially those shaped by poverty, violence, or rigid cultural expectations, are unable to articulate remorse in the language their children need. The adult child does not need his father to fully understand in order to heal. Closure does not require agreement. It requires acceptance t...

I have constantly been setting aside some money for personal leisure things such as diving computer, good camera, cosmetic dental procedures and travelling somewhere else. Despite my diligence in doing so, which I have been refraining myself from buying other good stuff like posh car or apple products, but most of the time, my savings would be kind of robbed off by my family members.  For example, it took me about a year to slowly saving for a good diving computer, when I was about to achieve the goal, my mother had asked me to sponsor my youngest brother's driving license which was at the similar cost of my desired diving computer.  My retired father has developed a hobby/post-retirement activity that require him to spend fortune.  After retirement, he had suffered minor depression for the sudden "out-of-job" syndrome.  He used to get up as early as 4am to work and came back home around 11pm, the cycle went on until he reached the retirement age. When that moment ca...