The 11th Time Is Not the Charm

This month, something unexpected landed on my lap. I was appointed person-in-charge for the bureau. Just like that — no warning, no ceremony, no survival kit.

And as it turns out, the adventure has only just begun.

If being in charge of full-time staff felt like managing a quirky little zoo, adding freelancers into the mix has turned it into a full-blown safari — one where the animals ask the same question ten times, pretend the fence doesn’t exist, and then complain that they weren’t told about the fence in the first place.

Let’s talk about the latest “upgrade” in our daily chaos: the new system.

Now, I understand that change is hard. New platforms take time. So I didn’t expect everyone to master it on the first try. But after ten — yes, ten — rounds of verbal briefings, followed by step-by-step guides, video tutorials, cheat sheets, infographics, and me repeating the same things so often I’ve started to sound like a malfunctioning GPS... we’re still stuck.

Still hearing:

• “Wait, how do I log in again?”

• “Where do I upload the file?”

• “Do I still need to do that thing you mentioned last week... what was it again?”

• “Can you just do it for me?”

Sometimes, I swear, a curious five-year-old with a sugar high would ask more relevant questions — and at least remember the answers by the third round.

And just to spice things up, many of them are now up in arms because they’re expected to gasp invest in their own gadgets.

Welcome to the gig economy, where people want the freedom of freelancing without the responsibilities of freelancing. I’ve had to listen to complaints ranging from:

• “My phone is too old.”

• “My laptop has no storage.”

• “Why should I buy a new device just to do this job?”

Because — and this might sound wild — using your own tools is literally what freelancing is. No one asks a plumber to borrow his wrench from HQ. But somehow, our freelancers seem to believe that a data-heavy digital workflow should magically run on a cracked 2012 Samsung with 4% battery and 37 open tabs.

Meanwhile, I — the glorified zookeeper/babysitter — am juggling egos, emails, and increasingly ridiculous excuses, all for the royal sum of RM20 a day.

Leadership, as I’m learning, is not about making big decisions. It’s about explaining the same thing for the 11th time without losing your mind. It’s about choosing which battle to fight: The One Who Forgets Passwords Daily or The One Who Believes Google Docs is a conspiracy.

So no, I haven’t forgotten about the new system. I dream about it. I explain it in my sleep. I have a Google Doc explaining the Google Doc system.
But as the saying goes: you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it open the right Google Sheet.

I’ll end with this: if you see someone staring blankly at a screen while whispering "again… seriously?" into their coffee, please be kind. It might be me. And I’ve probably just answered the same question for the 12th time.