Your Asian mom

The person that I am most grateful to is Singaporean top blogger Wendy Xiaxue as she has directed my life into something which I am really satisfied with. I become a writer because of what she has succeeded in her favorite pastime. It is contrary to the avocations by my father to become a nurse, teacher or other typical professions. At some point, this 29-year-old Wendy Cheng (Xia Xue’s real name) has been truthful to herself when she writes in her blog ( www.xiaxue.blogspot.com ). The blog content is thus becomes significant to me as some of those stories make me feel connected to her. She made me realized that there are certain problems or issues that both of us (and I believe there will be someone out there) are experiencing the same thing, although it is at different timeframe or stages of lives. And her sharing makes me feel like that I am not alone in facing them. Of course besides the anguish posts, Xiaxue is also a hilarious blogger with her not-so-common imagi

Most of the sounded people, who have yet gone through breastfeeding journey, might think that it is a marvellous and lovely experience. The baby, of course the huge benefactor, besides the sense of security and comfort, she gets all essential nutrients and antibodies from the fresh milk.  Meanwhile, the feeder could also lose weight, natural birth control and less worry that baby will easily get sick. Along the way, mothers suffer behind the scenes despite repeated assurance that they are happy to sacrifice for the babies' sakes. Firstly, mothers have to expose nipples to let the baby drinks. Most of the time, not wearing bras will be most convenient as one could just simply retract the shirt. And while the action takes place, usually the husbands and babysitters,or other family members have to witness the not so humoring scene. As breasts are in pair, other one will leak while baby sucks the other one. How we wish that there's a faucet to control the flow. Undeniably,

Bree is 4-month old yesterday. She has grown into a beautiful and adorable baby as she tries to steal people hearts via her sweetest smiles and willingness to sleep through the night. She is 6 kilogramme now, has been able to lift head at 90 degree, loves to sit and stands with support. She has developed recognition on familiar faces, and also strangers. Recently, she cries out loud when  other people (besides daddy, babysitter and I) hold her at home. However, when we go out, she tries to hold back her tears and fears when people hug and play with her. A good decorum, I would say for a little girl to behave such way at a very young age. I still breastfeed her, pumping milk at workplace and babysitter provides her formula milk during daytime. As for myself, I found that I am not spending enough time with her. She grows up so fast yet the interaction time with her is only between 6pm and 9pm. after that, she'll close her eyes and enjoy the comfort of sucking and latch

I made a booking of the three-star accommodation via agoda.com at RM180 per room with two single beds. As it was my first time using the discounted hotel reservations online site, I called them to check on the reservation status. I had to call several times as no one picked up the phone. When I managed to talk to the club's staff, they could not confirm whether on the matter and promised to response to me once there's any updates. I've waited for few days, but the phone was silent. Since i had the confirmation receipt from Agoda, I just drove to the tip of borneo. I was hoping to be able to get good rest, pampering spa and swimming session as I reached there after a long three-hour drive from Kota Kinabalu. The overlooking view from the resort's lobby is really breathtaking. The background of the hotel is bed of the serene blue Sulu sea/South China sea. I got the ground floor room, with garden and swimming pool view.  However, the interiors is a bit not worth th

I have resumed back to work a month ago. To leave my baby at home to be taken care by my cousin was quite difficult.  Some more, during that time, the two-month old baby was reluctant to have milk from bottle... But as days passed by, my confidence grows that her babysitter will take good care of her, and baby will behave well by drinking milk and sleep tightly. I am quite a fortunate mom as she doesn't cry inconsolably like others, and also she is easily to be put to bed-by offering my breast to latch. I am also well rested afterwork as most of the time she stays asleep throughout the night. Meanwhile, I am still pumping milk twice during my working hours. However, milk supply no longer  able to meet baby's demands. She drinks 4oz per feeding and about five times during daytime, whereas I managed to yield only 3 to 4 oz per squeezing session. We resort to infant formula milk, Enfalac, which cost us about RM100 per 800gramme. Vaccination on second and third month had caus

Training breastfed baby for bottle feed. I started training my baby when she was one month old. It was quite frustrating to see her refusing them with the shrieking crying. And it feared me more to think that she would starve herself and pass out when I start my work.  but, to make whoever concern on that, baby will eventually take the bottle.  Mine start taking it when she was 7 week old.  The trick was by putting the artificial teat next to my nipple during feeding. Initially, she would definitely swallow lots of gas during the process as she had to latch on both. Baby was cranky when she was alert on sucking fake nipple, but I immediately pacify her with the real one. Eventually she accepts it gladly.  of course prior to that, I did try on leaving the house and let babysitter feed her;change various brands of bottles that include tomee tippie, anakku and etc. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for her.  the conclusion is babies will eventually take bottle as they

My husband is excited to become a good daddy to my now 6-week baby, but doesn't really know how to bring out the appropriate motherly attitude to serve the infant better. This sperm contributor is repetitively fall in love with his product. Everytime when he comes back home from work in the evening, he will lie down next to the baby and admire her face and movement. Never get tired. However, his masculine voice is as loud as thunderstorm, even if he is whispering to me and the tiny human. It ended up that the love of my life always awakened our light sleeper child. Like most of the mothers in the world, would usually give angry stare at their husbands as it is in fact difficult to put baby to sleep. As I am doing the breastfeeding all the time, daddy has no chance to bond with baby during the feeding session. It ends up daddy's role is just to pass the baby to my arms whenever she cries. Other that that, daddy tends to ask on the comfort level that the baby has, as they

It is indescribable joy when I had the bundle of joy in my arm immediately after 10 hours of labor pain. I couldn't believe that I actually made that tiny human being. The next 24-hour, I felt energetic to breastfeed the sleepy girl. The surge of energy continued for the first two weeks. I wanted to protect her from others which potentially posed hazards to her- to introduce bottle feeding and pacifier while combating the possibility of neonatal jaundice getting worse. The feeling of wanting to secure her had actually led to a thought to resign work so that I could give her the best care. But, I didn't do so... On the second month, whereby I was almost all by myself taking care of the infant as well as the house chores, I started to feel bored and insecure. I was looking at the main door and thinking when would I be able to step out from the house as freely as I was before. It will be dangerous and troublesome to bring infant who needs to be breastfed on demand outside

I am done with my one- month confinement period which I fully breastfed baby. As I am going back to work in less than a month time, I really have to introduce bottle to my little one. However, after getting comfortable with my soft nipple and the warmth of the body, she certainly refusing to latch on the artificial nipple. She even spitted out my hard earned express milk!!! Even worse, she's crying as loud as she could to protest. Not even that, she tends to cry histerically at night (just to let her daddy knows that I'd bullied her during daytime). My concerns include whether my expressed milk supply will be adequate for her when I am away to work. And, will the future babysitter be able to bottlefeed her? I am also worried if she manages to bottlefeed her, how is she going to sleep without latching on nipples until she falls asleep as it usually happen while she is breastfed. Until the arrival of maid next week, I wouldnt know what will happen.

I am nearly at the end of the 30-day of confinement period. It means that I am getting stronger and will soon have to do the babysitting, house chores, cooking all by myself. How was it to be in the confinement state? As I was about to deliver, many had told me that a woman has to be very careful during those period as she will be at her most fragile condition. I was quite worried as I thought I would be bed-ridden, severely sick and etc. The thought that I had to fully dependent on others was not that I intend to be.  However, it turned out that I felt quite energetic after few hours of laboring the baby except I could feel numbness at the perineum side with sanitary pad soaked with blood. Other than that, it wasn't as bad as what had been told. Despite the surge feeling to do everything as usual.As I have used to move fast in everything,  I was repeatedly advised by older people i.e mother and mother-in-law to walk slowly and sit like a princess (no crossing leg) to prevent

Unless the baby is unwell, there's no way to ensure a newborn sleep through the night as adults usually do. I am sharing my way of taking care of her at night time as I find mothers' who share theirs on line has helped me a lot going through the phase. I put my one-month-old baby to our bedroom, where she is co-sleeping with us, at about 9.30pm. As newborns have problem to differentiate days and nights, I initiate some routines for her to understand the time- which she is supposed to sleep through the night as she is growing up. Among the routines include cleaning her up with damp warm clothes (will bath her later after confinement period), dress her into a pyjama and change to diapers. Swaddling her seems giving her the sense of security which reduce awakening episodes as the tightness reduce her startle reflex. Other than that, yes, I do give her forehead kisses which I don't during daytime. Of course, we also reduce other stimuli such as the light intensity and c

I actually googled the least sleeping hours required by a new mother. As I had been sleeping less than my usual 8 hours routine to put three-week-old baby to sleep especially at night. Yes, she likes to take short naps and will cry for more milk when she is awake. As I have yet introduce botlefeed her with expressed milk, (due to mother in law's presence who disallow it for thinking the milk isnt fresher/ safer than impromptu prepared infant formula), the responsibility to cuddle and feed her fall solely on my shoulder. Each feeding will take about 30minutes, and the cuddling time that will put her into deep sleep is another 30minutes. As the action is done in sitting position, it really hurt my back although I was sitting with straight back and supported with pillows. There were two times which I lost my patience...that I scolded the baby. And she could feel it and even cried harder and became more irritable. It was quite dangerous though as at that stage any exhausted caret

It's my day 15th when I typed out this post. At the eleventh hour after I delivered my 3.25kg baby girl to the world, my husband bought flight ticket from Penang to here for mom-in-law to be my confinement lady. I was not the good daughter-in-law who could tolerate her presence between husband and I. Therefore, I was a bit hesitant and reluctant to have her around at this time. And, earlier I had warned spouse about it as well as I was scared to have postpartum blue later. Explaining on the not so good chemistry between us is mainly because of the generation and knowledge gaps. I, blaming the inheritance of impatience gene from my father's side, could not tolerate people repeating aka nagging me more than three times. Secondly, I point fingers on the knowledge acquired as of now which usually contrast with mom-in-law's beliefs based on eerience and old wies tales. For examples, Neonatal jaundice- focus on breastfeeding. But, she insisted to give infant formula, mi

I prefer to have diapers for my newborn as it helps her to sleep better throughout the day. Currently I'm using mamypoko diapers which sold at Rm32++  for a packet of 52 pieces, which mean it is RM0.60++ each. As husband and I have allocated 2 sets of  them each month. our baby can use maximum three diapers in a day. Mathematically, she is using each for 8 hours provided the baby doesn't soil them with her poops. So far, the diapers really give a comfort and uninterrupt sleep to my baby as it really absorbs the liquid well and make her feel dry all the time until next change. However, there's always concern on diapers causes buttock rashes for the little one. I read through few articles on that. Preventions include to keep the butt dry and clean, wash hands regularly, and to watch out for tupes of detergent used to wash the cloth diapers. As of now, as mother in law is at home confining the baby and I... She prefers old-school which is to wear linen diapers that cou

I just realised it has become so ridiculous to learn how can a mother who gets pregnant for almost ten months to hate her own daughter later in life knowing that the latter has not fulfilling all the wishes. That include chasing own daughter out of the house during an argument, or uttering bad comments to irritate the child, and even worse caused injuries. Unfortunately, this has actually happened to my 25-year-old sister who was still staying with them at that moment. It was the day on which our grandmother passed away on the seventh day. Despite it fell on weekdays, most relatives spent time to return to hometown to offer prayers. However, sis didn't attend it as she wasn't a faithful Christian nor close to the 87th old woman. Mom was angry when she returned home found out that sis had actually spent the evening with her fiance as well as the newly bought puppy. Mom, who has been so active in church and almost earns the 'holiest' christian woman title in Sab

 I am still working despite due date is around the corner. Due to urgency calls every two hour, it has greatly affect my quality sleep. However, after 6am, I am able to sleep soundly. It usually so sound that I dream an attractive guy (who is not my husband cos I know he has left to work) cuddle me sleeping. Most of the time, those guys are okay to sort of 'love me' although I have a 38th week pregnant tummy size. Besides that, when I am awake, I would be thinking who will be the guy that I will have a fling with if husband is going to leave me in future? I am not sure whether it is considered as an infidelity action. A good wife shouldn't have those wild thoughts. Thinking that if Bree finds out I was being wild, she must be very disappointed and feel ashamed of me.

I am almost 39th week pregnant, and suddenly paternal grandmother who is 87-year-old passed away. I am not really close to her, but it is sign of respect to have the desire to pay her last visit. However, my Chinese husband and mom-in-law said "no pregnant lady should attend a funeral...." without saying the rational behind it. Mom and Dad said the same thing. Other friends told me that I just had to pray for her from home. If I insist going for the ceremony, I should have wrap my tummy with red/white clothes. That's spooky though. It gives me the idea that as my fetus is a partial human being, she might 'meet' grandma's soul. And, as I was told by dad that grandma wasn't really a nice person- as she didn't really treat others well. It is best that I listen to what people have been telling me to do. Anyway, grandma. I am not going to judge your past here. But, I do believe that the existence of Bree and I are because both of us had you. Res

I was and had always sleep soundly at night as I depleted source of energy during daytime. But last night, it was different. After husband and I came back from dinner, I had the surge, or also known as 'nesting' to clean up and arrange the house as much as possible and still feel fresh afterwards. As I was trying to sleep at about 1030pm, Bree kicked and positioned herself harshly. I wouldn't angry at her because she is just a 2.8kg fetus who wants to make herself comfortable without considering my comfort level. But she was doing that until almost 3am. And when she did it, my bladder was pressed and I had to pee immediately. Her aggressiveness had also caused right groin to hurt, and an episode of diarhea. Husband was around too that time, he suspected I was going into labor anytime cos he never see me like that. Half asleep, he timed my contractions, which the duration and frequency were quite regular. I assured him to continue his sleep and promised to alert if the

Above is the image of me pregnant at 38th week. It seemed like the baby has stop growing and progressively descend to be engage her head at where it is supposed to be (perhaps the opening of the os?) Because of that I have increase urge to pee almost every two hours or else the pressure will cause pain at my groin as well as the tummy itself. Yeah, it feels like the baby is angry  at me for being lazy to spare more room for her. Besides that, I am pretty sure something is going on of my body as nine hours of sleep is still inadequate for me. Ignore about the sleep quality. My body is tired and I hardly drag myself out of bed. Thus, the idea of going to work every morning really kills me. As it is fasting month, there are less assignment that require me to travel on foot for my work. It is not a good news for me. Staying and sitting almost the whole day in office has actually causing me having elephant feet, which fluid retain around ankles and digits. It feels very heavy and swol

It means that the "Bun in the Oven" is well cooked!!! Bree has reached the necessary maturity level for her all organs. However, I have yet show any sign of delivery which I am so anticipating as carrying this huge belly is not that fun although I started to gain attention or special treatment by public- people tend to let me their seats, speeding up business so that I don't have to wait long, and offer to top up petrol fuel and etc. A day before I reached 37th, I felt few gush of fluid  coming out from my vagina as I was driving back home. However, there's no contraction felt right after the feeling. However, husband was so worried when I re-confirm with him on the signs. When I reached home, he actually sniffed at me to sort of "differentiating" whether I was leaking urine or liquor. I checked in the toilet, it was odorless and clear fluid that wet the front part of my undies.Changed to new underwear and immediately washed the old one. Surprisingly,

There is another round of call to interview Pegawai Tadbir Diplomatik M41: I was one of the luckiest one to be called upon (two weeks in advance of the date via sms and email).  As it was my second invitation by the Public Service Commission, I had learned a lot from the previous and harsh experience so I was quite composed on that day.  Investing in a PADINI blazer priced at RM159 also boosted my confidence, though.  In addition to my previous notes which are available here. part I, part II and part III. Below are other things for future candidates to look for as one of the tips. Additional for the updated Malaysian cabinet lisdt. **of course, with the hot topic being debated on Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement . A well-prepared interviewee should have rough idea and of course own opinion on that. (I am glad my session was over as the topic is not as easy to understand as a whole). There were two interviewees-  One of them is the Public Service Commission deputy

Below are just random notes that I think a future-to-be administrative officer should know: 1. CUEPACS Congress of Union of Employees in the Public And Civil Services Kongres Kesatuan Pekerja-pekerja Dalam Perkhidmatan Awam President: Dato' Hj. Omar Osman objective- is to take care and also to watch out 1.2mil government servants(5 per cent of Malaysian total population 28mil). 2. SBPA Skim Saraan Baru Perkhidmatan Awam Public Service New Remuneration Scheme. - memberi kelebihan kepada pegawai atasan kerajaan sedangkan kakitangan bawahan menerima kenaikan yang rendah menyaksikan pendapatan ketua penjawat awam itu mencecah RM60,000 sebulan -Putrajaya terpaksa menambah RM2 bilion kepada RM2.6 bilion yang sebelum ini diperuntukkan di bawah SBPA -has been scrapped on March 8, 2012 by Prime Minister.  3. SSM Sistem Saraan Malaysia (SSM) -Kenaikan gaji sebanyak 7 peratus max. 4. This is one of the three or four salary scales in Public Service in Malaysia, JUSA

The crescent moon appearance on Monday (July 8) marks the beginning of holy month tomorrow for those who observe Ramadhan wholeheartedly. However, it could also become a disastrous period for those who observe those observers turning into monsters. My main concern will be the breaking fast rush hour which the hungry monsters driving recklessly on roads. After fasting for hours, they can't even think of abiding the rules. Some of them, including a close friend of mine, happened to curse an Indian driver for going back the same time as other muslims. For me, the utterance seemed to reflect that they are almighty because they had to fast the whole day..others are not allowed to be on the road. And, I would not be able to eat freely in office as some of them will feel offended. Should I have my meal in the toilet?or go to parking lot, switch on car aircond and have it there? Why would I? It really suppress my liberty in having normal life.  Their breaths are stink.  But

Earlier, I had promised myself to blog a few posts on my recent life events. However, things got bad and depressive when I had hypoglycemic and came back home found out that there was water disruption. Those had made me feel extremely uncomfortable..so I hitted the bed the whole time. Next day, there was still no water or sign that it was going to recover anytime within 24 hours. I decided to take shower and did all cleaning at parents' home- about 20 minutes drive from here. After the cleanup, mom told or more accurate giving excuses that she could not handle me during my confinement period.  She even gave me suggestion to call mom-in-law to fly over here to takeover the duty. flashback on few months ago, I was terribly irritated on mom in law who couldnt stop talking aka nagging that it almost blew out my mind, that's why I couldnt have her around immediately after I deliver. As I am going to go into delivery anytime, I do think that her last minute pull out was unacc

It was finally the time to do major service for my 7-year-old beloved Proton Savvy who had indirectly contributed a lot to my bank accounts. As the service center has a lot of customers regardless whether it is weekdays or weekends, I made an appointment a month earlier. Then few days before the designated date, I did call them to reconfirm on my appointment. Who ever picked up the call (after multiple attempts) said YES on it. I came at 8am at their center and registered myself. The receptionist was masking astonished look that my car plate number was not in their record. However, she still put me on "appointment" list. Then, a malay lady who addressed herself as "NORMA" took over my case. I told her besides regular major service such as replacing engine oil, brake oil, spark plugs and filters, I did request them to check on brake pad, change wiper, and fix the car honk. She nodded her head and assured me that those service would take about two hours.  Once

I have recently called an ex to ask whether he knew of any babysitter who also offer services during weekend. It happened to be my call had made him having delusion that I was still into him after about 10 years of breakup. Knowing that I am 8-month pregnant, he texted and urged me to send a picture of mine to him. I refused. But he insisted that he wanted to have a look on current me. So, I blocked his number. It is so disgusting. Acknowledge that he is also a father to a newborn and still ask for my pictures? I assumed that he can't get enough from his wife and wanted to commit in adultery literally? I wondered why was I with him on those two years? Luckily, dad was there to remind me to ditch that potentially turn into a parasite partner while I en route to further tertiary degree in peninsular. Of course, he was the one who came clean telling me that he was with me to get closer to my prettier elder sister. It is a blessing in disguise that the relationship ended. Ear

My answer will usually be…neither one. I am already on 33th week with another 45 days more to wait for the baby’s coming. To visualize how long that is will be like seeing the figures in bank account increases twice. It is definitely a long way to go. Meanwhile, instead of focusing whether I should be nervous or excited on this matter. I actually have a long to-d0-list to be completed prior to Bree’s arrival. a)    I have yet able to find/ascertain that someone could take good care of me while I am in a month-long of confinement period. Husband has been worried that there would be any complication such as arthritis or other illness that might befall on me should there’s no good care of me towards that period. b)   A nanny that will be available to babysit our baby when I need to be back to work. Husband and I have very irregular working hour. It makes us difficult to find someone who is compatible with it. The search has been taking place for at least two weeks, and it

For laymen or those have yet go through pregnancy, they would definitely say "wah, another one month to go". But, its not that fast. The exact remaining days will be 8 weeks x 7 days= 56 days which is equivalent to waiting for two times salary. So, its two months more... my tummy now really covers up my legs. I mean I can no longer see them...and by writing that here. It is hardly for me to get up from bed-need to turn laterally before I get up. In short, it seems like I dont have abdomen muscle. With the fast growing and bulging tummy, I also have limited choice of clothes. I spent more than 10 minutes than usual to try on my clothes whether I will still look hype and fashionable. At least, I still look presentable for my work. Since the first round husband and I spending money on baby's stuff..it almost amounted RM1k. Those items include a playpen, a baby stroller, disposable diapers, clothes and few petty things. That's even before Bree's arrival to world.