Confinement period in Sabah
It's my day 15th when I typed out this post.
At the eleventh hour after I delivered my 3.25kg baby girl to the world, my husband bought flight ticket from Penang to here for mom-in-law to be my confinement lady.
I was not the good daughter-in-law who could tolerate her presence between husband and I. Therefore, I was a bit hesitant and reluctant to have her around at this time. And, earlier I had warned spouse about it as well as I was scared to have postpartum blue later.
Explaining on the not so good chemistry between us is mainly because of the generation and knowledge gaps. I, blaming the inheritance of impatience gene from my father's side, could not tolerate people repeating aka nagging me more than three times. Secondly, I point fingers on the knowledge acquired as of now which usually contrast with mom-in-law's beliefs based on eerience and old wies tales.
For examples,
Neonatal jaundice- focus on breastfeeding.
But, she insisted to give infant formula, milk and bathe the baby under the sun.
Breastmilk-up until today eventhough there's high technology to formulate so-called best commercial milk meant for the baby's development. None is ever be able to create one like human's milk. It contains antibodies and other essential nutrients that will be enough for the baby up until six-month old. Sadly, mom-in-law, judging on my petite body size claimed that my milk is not sufficient for a newborn. My milk is perceived as merely WATER as it looks just like water compared to powdery infant formula.
Chinese Traditional herbal soup- Yes, Chinese are very particular on preparing herbal soup and tea as a mean to replace loss fluid and blood, strengthen the body, regain energy and etc. However, I have been living as a human being who has been living life with middle child syndrome-independent by eating based on food pyramid accordingly. I have been avoiding drug including paracetamol as I am usually will suffer the side effects of drug. Same applied to traditional herbs. I do take them on moderate amount to avoid unnecessary hazards of food interaction. By the way, for the first week of full blast traditional herbs consumption, husband commented on my complexion turned yellowish.
Postnatal mother should be in 'hot' temperature at all time- Sounds familiar with the hot and cold concept? i haven't fully comprehend on that yet. But I was told to drink very hot soup (with lots of ginger), hot tea ( also with ginger) with chew, hot milo with jacket on my shoulder. I wasn't allowed to take bath during those hot days as well. The routine made me headache and weak, that I usually headed immediately to bed after consumption, until about day 10, I had severe headache and start coughing that my husband had to tell his mom to avoid too much heating ingredients in my food. Perhaps because I am not a pure Chinese and I like to drink food and drinks at room temperature that I hardly accept those instantly.
Plain water will cause edematous at abdominal site- this had also contributed to my mild heat stroke. Although I secretly drank them in my room. Having all those heating soup and tea alone really made my throat dries and felt dehydrated. Today, after continuously having plain water, there's no sign of swelling at mentioned site.
No bathing or shampooing- perhaps for the first three days will still be tolerable. But I can't take it for more than that, as I was sweating from the hot weather and soup. Again, I secretly wipe my body with lukewarm...and yes, sometimes with tap water to keep my body temperature down. It is important to be hygenic for me as I am breastfeeding her almost all the time. She shouldn't be sucking My precious milk with additions that will introduce disease. As the girl and I are rooming in with the father, I intend to look and smell okay for him when he wants to cuddle or touch my hair. Yes, I do need to entertain visiting guests as well. It wouldn't be nice to look like a pig in front of them.
No television, book, and other electronic devices- mom in law said they would affect my vision. I should just close my eyes and lie on my bed. Hmm, I have actually wasting time for not improving skill and knowledge that will be very useful when I get back to work.
Despite with above disagreement. I still have gratitude to express to mom-in-law as somehow some of her advises and deeds have actually contribute to my speedy recovery at this time.
She's a 60s lady with history of joint pain. yet, seeing her doing all the chores i.e washing cloth diapers, cooking, washing, cleaning still touch the bottom of my egoistic heart.
I had being rude to her sometimes during the first half of this confinement period, yet, she never cease from doing what she should do. Perhaps she'll say that I am a stubborn and choosy daughter-in-law, but I deserve those comments because I am that kind of person.
At the eleventh hour after I delivered my 3.25kg baby girl to the world, my husband bought flight ticket from Penang to here for mom-in-law to be my confinement lady.
I was not the good daughter-in-law who could tolerate her presence between husband and I. Therefore, I was a bit hesitant and reluctant to have her around at this time. And, earlier I had warned spouse about it as well as I was scared to have postpartum blue later.
Explaining on the not so good chemistry between us is mainly because of the generation and knowledge gaps. I, blaming the inheritance of impatience gene from my father's side, could not tolerate people repeating aka nagging me more than three times. Secondly, I point fingers on the knowledge acquired as of now which usually contrast with mom-in-law's beliefs based on eerience and old wies tales.
For examples,
Neonatal jaundice- focus on breastfeeding.
But, she insisted to give infant formula, milk and bathe the baby under the sun.
Breastmilk-up until today eventhough there's high technology to formulate so-called best commercial milk meant for the baby's development. None is ever be able to create one like human's milk. It contains antibodies and other essential nutrients that will be enough for the baby up until six-month old. Sadly, mom-in-law, judging on my petite body size claimed that my milk is not sufficient for a newborn. My milk is perceived as merely WATER as it looks just like water compared to powdery infant formula.
Chinese Traditional herbal soup- Yes, Chinese are very particular on preparing herbal soup and tea as a mean to replace loss fluid and blood, strengthen the body, regain energy and etc. However, I have been living as a human being who has been living life with middle child syndrome-independent by eating based on food pyramid accordingly. I have been avoiding drug including paracetamol as I am usually will suffer the side effects of drug. Same applied to traditional herbs. I do take them on moderate amount to avoid unnecessary hazards of food interaction. By the way, for the first week of full blast traditional herbs consumption, husband commented on my complexion turned yellowish.
Postnatal mother should be in 'hot' temperature at all time- Sounds familiar with the hot and cold concept? i haven't fully comprehend on that yet. But I was told to drink very hot soup (with lots of ginger), hot tea ( also with ginger) with chew, hot milo with jacket on my shoulder. I wasn't allowed to take bath during those hot days as well. The routine made me headache and weak, that I usually headed immediately to bed after consumption, until about day 10, I had severe headache and start coughing that my husband had to tell his mom to avoid too much heating ingredients in my food. Perhaps because I am not a pure Chinese and I like to drink food and drinks at room temperature that I hardly accept those instantly.
Plain water will cause edematous at abdominal site- this had also contributed to my mild heat stroke. Although I secretly drank them in my room. Having all those heating soup and tea alone really made my throat dries and felt dehydrated. Today, after continuously having plain water, there's no sign of swelling at mentioned site.
No bathing or shampooing- perhaps for the first three days will still be tolerable. But I can't take it for more than that, as I was sweating from the hot weather and soup. Again, I secretly wipe my body with lukewarm...and yes, sometimes with tap water to keep my body temperature down. It is important to be hygenic for me as I am breastfeeding her almost all the time. She shouldn't be sucking My precious milk with additions that will introduce disease. As the girl and I are rooming in with the father, I intend to look and smell okay for him when he wants to cuddle or touch my hair. Yes, I do need to entertain visiting guests as well. It wouldn't be nice to look like a pig in front of them.
No television, book, and other electronic devices- mom in law said they would affect my vision. I should just close my eyes and lie on my bed. Hmm, I have actually wasting time for not improving skill and knowledge that will be very useful when I get back to work.
Despite with above disagreement. I still have gratitude to express to mom-in-law as somehow some of her advises and deeds have actually contribute to my speedy recovery at this time.
She's a 60s lady with history of joint pain. yet, seeing her doing all the chores i.e washing cloth diapers, cooking, washing, cleaning still touch the bottom of my egoistic heart.
I had being rude to her sometimes during the first half of this confinement period, yet, she never cease from doing what she should do. Perhaps she'll say that I am a stubborn and choosy daughter-in-law, but I deserve those comments because I am that kind of person.
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