Detachment?

Earlier, I had promised myself to blog a few posts on my recent life events.

However, things got bad and depressive when I had hypoglycemic and came back home found out that there was water disruption. Those had made me feel extremely uncomfortable..so I hitted the bed the whole time.

Next day, there was still no water or sign that it was going to recover anytime within 24 hours. I decided to take shower and did all cleaning at parents' home- about 20 minutes drive from here.

After the cleanup, mom told or more accurate giving excuses that she could not handle me during my confinement period.  She even gave me suggestion to call mom-in-law to fly over here to takeover the duty. flashback on few months ago, I was terribly irritated on mom in law who couldnt stop talking aka nagging that it almost blew out my mind, that's why I couldnt have her around immediately after I deliver.

As I am going to go into delivery anytime, I do think that her last minute pull out was unacceptable and inappropriate. Most of all, It made me think that I am nothing but an outsider to her. It seems like she had had enough taking care of me...and the first ever grandchild. Of course it upset me a lot.

I left the house and cried along the driving journey back to current home. Wondering why was I treated that way despites I honored her and treated her well. I am not sure whether it is the middle child syndrome again...where I will always be ignored regardless how good I am to them.

I was thinking very hard at that point should I also stop being their middle child? I should stop giving them money, bring them for vacations, stop being their peacemaker about their occasionally marriage disagreement and etc.

Cos, I am having a baby now. Husband is also taking care of me as his family..real family.

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