A child with parental love deprivation who found a good lover to fill in the gap-Part 1.

Where or who do neglected children usually resort to in order to fill in the years-long of love deprivation indirectly caused by his parents?

There are many instances where those children, grow up into teenagers, desperately looking for lovers of their age to get the love and attention. Due to the immature or fantasy thought that their lovers will treat them better for long term, they are willing to get into sex out of wedlock, impregnated and etc. 

As a middle child, I lived a life which my parents will put me as later priority than other siblings. Knowing there's no way to get mom's and dad's attention mainly on me, except scoring good result at schools, I had been putting a lot of effort to do well in my study. 

But it seemed like my independence on becoming a good child made my parents strayed from their roles to take better care of me. It became more obvious when I studied my diploma and degree away from home. 

During that period of about 6 years, it was only me making phone calls home especially when I ran out of money. The plead for monthly allowance had always been tough...despite of having a father who worked as a teacher, I didn't live as comfortably as others of same background. Perhaps again, its the number of children matter. 

There were few times I fell sick badly and once underwent laparatomy appendectomy but even if I informed them about my conditions, they seemed not to worry at all. 

                                            

"Oh, Ok. Just rest well" 

I had wished to ask them "Will you come here to visit me?" but it never come out from my mouth fearing it would only lead to disappointment. 

Perhaps again I was wrong, they might just not showing their true feelings. 

Back in university life in Kelantan, Malaysia. My faith on Catholic teachings grew. I became more active in church session. Probably because of that, God blessed me with people who love me. I have bunch of good friends, and also few seniors who do showed their cares towards me. 

Good friends because we were sharing the same environment which our parents were not around us and had to do same assignment, co-curriculum, celebrations and etc. 

Romance relationship? "It just happens for a reason".

I was into a senior who was in charged of our orientation week. He is a good-looking Indian, a rarely found race in my hometown. My curiosity drew us closer to the extend he engaged me in a university's mega project which allowed me to meet his Indian junior, who was my now Chinese husband's best friend at that time. 

Sounds like a playgirl, the two Indians treated me like a princess which they sent me to hospital in wee hours when I got sick, Constantly asked my well being, good surprise during my birthday, and etc. I was truly blessed to have known both of them.

But, in the end I chose husband for he is willing to commit in taking care of me. 

Regardless of how demanding I am, at least he never say that "I cant even take care fishes in the aquarium".