"Are you pregnant" to single woman is an offensive question

My two colleagues, who are more senior than I, went for a brief walk at nearby shopping mall during work.

We went there for a bazaar sale. There were many vendors selling various types of items including educational books for children.

One of the salesmen, quite old, perhaps in his early 50s approached us and threw a question to a senior who was in her mid-30s.

“Madam, are you expecting first child?”

I got stunned by the question, and it would be harder for her to be thrown such question in front the two of us. I pretended I wasn’t aware of the situation.

There might be few factors that made him asked such offensive question.

1. He was too obsessed in selling products that he saw everyone in the mall are having kids or expecting.  

2. Two of us are skinnier with flat bellies, assuming three of us are conscious about health. It makes the other one look pregnant instead of having beer belly.

3. Her dressing? Tight tee with protruding belly (the current trend of young expecting mommy showing off their baby), wide pants and high but flat shoes.

I came across an article by BCC which shared tips to differentiate between pregnant or fat woman.

Here are some tips from pregnant women:

1. Listen for huffing and puffing, says Ellie Dixon-Jackson, 33, who is eight months pregnant and lives in Manchester, because your internal organs get a bit squashed. Plus carrying extra weight causes you to feel more out of breath. "I would say however, that it is difficult to gauge with some people until the later months when they are clearly showing a bump. My advice would probably be to say nothing if you are unsure and wait for a clear signal."

2. Belly or back-rubbing are other giveaways, she says, and a coat that doesn't fasten. "My experience on the Manchester Metro has generally been really good. I find leaning back a bit and rubbing the belly and having a tired expression works wonders."

3. Check the feet, says mum-of-two Nifa McLaughlin, editor of gurgle.com. "You won't often find a pregnant woman wearing stilettos or any kind of dangerously high heels. Nope, I'm afraid it's flat ballet pumps, baseball boots or (gulp) Uggs. If she's paired up her work suit with comfortable footwear, or just slippers, then it's a safe bet that she's eating for two."

4. What's she reading? "What with holding her bump, rubbing her back and working tirelessly to keep steady on her feet, she probably isn't actually reading," says Ms McLaughlin. "There will be a book sticking out of her bag, though, and it probably won't be a thriller or the real-life story of a serial killer. Her hormones are all over the place so she's more likely to be sticking to something light-hearted or a spot of chick-lit. There's a big hint if she's reading a pregnancy magazine or baby book."

5. Inflated ankles, says Justine Roberts of parenting website Mumsnet. "Look out for signs of extreme exhaustion and/or ankles the size of cabbages. But if in doubt just go ahead and offer your seat anyway. If she is pregnant she'll be deliriously grateful. If she isn't, then you've just done your good deed for the day anyway."

6. A waddling walk is another sign, says pregnant Joanne Fenwick, 32, from Newcastle. "The tell-tale signs would definitely be the holding or hugging of the bump, even before the bump is visible. Then after about 35 weeks [about eight months pregnant], the waddle takes over. When standing still, women tend to sway from side to side - or at least I do."

7. A well-defined and solid bump will clearly not be squishy fat, says mother-of-two and Londoner, Cato Pedder. "In the early months when you just look fat, you don't need to sit down anyway. By the time you do need to sit down, by six or seven months, the bump is so round and defined that only a fool would mistake it for fat. I always found people stood up on buses and trains, especially the elderly, who could do with the seat even more than me. But never on the Tube, even when I was eight months pregnant and looked like I had a hippo up my frock."

It would be even clearer, of course, if more pregnant women asked politely for a seat, rather than suffered in seething silence.

Personally, I think it is wise to keep the weight and belly in the shape it should be. There are many ignorant people, at the end, the one carrying the huge belly will be the one who feel offended (and also to those like me, who feel the embarrassment).

Perhaps, the link below and many more in Youtube helps in flattening the tummy.