The Time Of The Month.

I am supposed to have my monthly period tomorrow, provided my ovum is not fertilised by one of husband's sperms. We have had active unprotected sex eversince we married, and by stating that the risk/chance to get pregnant is there.


I am so afraid of having a baby at this young age as I reckon it will take away my peak moment of life. I just realised that I have so many uncompleted desires- to climb Mount Kinabalu, completed Kpop Dance, to be in underwater photography, to join 42Km marathon run, to go for advance level in rock climbing, canoeing, and wear cute dresses. And as I've forementioned about my budding career, having pregnancy complications like puking, big tummy in that line could be a lot inconvenient. Not forget to mention that the monthly checkup, which I don't have time to allocate for.

I am a woman with appropriate level of estrogen or motherly instinct hormone, of course deep in my heart I would want to cuddle that bundle of joy and breastfeed him/her myself.  However, two years from now is the ideal time to have one. It is also pretty scary to think that if I plan it that way, will the embryo failed to form because he/she is not happy with my current thought?

Husband and I had married for almost two month, the last time I had my period, I questioned him what if I am sterile and other sort of questions...

That's why birth and control are two difficult parables that kill me everytime I am on the day I am supposed to have my period.

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