To emphasise on the well-being or being strict to a child.
Recently had an argument with husband on the way I treated my 7-year-old brother. For husband who had seen me interacted with my brother for three months, he reckoned that I had over-pampered him.
For an instance, during a dinner outside, I let my brother played tablet while we were waiting for the dishes to be served. Husband thought that it was rude to allow him playing that gadget, it seemed like Billy was not discipline enough to him. My judgment during that time, Billy was bored and can't converse with me as usual because my husband was around. It would be awkward for him to talk something non-sense as usual.
When it came to eating part, Billy looked stressed for having to swallow lemon chicken which was too sweet and of poor quality. I offered other dish-the Japanese tofu, but he still can't take it. Then only I asked whether he wanted something else such as grilled chicken wings and etc.
The scenario had pissed husband a bit, and he remarked that I pampered him for not forcing him to take whatever was served on table. Billy almost broke his tears when he heard that, and to me, it was even heart-wrenching when Billy forcing himself finishing the white and dry rice as he was scared that husband would scold me further.
Second episode was when husband traumatised Billy to finish his adult-size noodles during breakfast. Although Billy has a 12-year-old body, but it didn't mean that he could finish the amount of where husband claimed it was also too much for him. My family has always practised to "tapau" leftover food as we know later we would want to eat it again (it is also because the food is usually more than RM5). To my surprise, husband thought the act was embarassing and again lashed out "Next time don't bring your brother out for food anymore,".
Husband did explain to me on his parents had forced him not to waste food regardless how rubbish the taste is, as logically many people on earth are starving for any kind of rice. And he reasoned that pushing children from being too comfortable was also crucial in ensuring they become more resilient in tough environment when they've grown up. He added that one-day when Billy had to work as a labor worker because my over-pampering today, I was part of the blaming of the consequences.
My partner has strong points on the raising children issue. But, I think it is debatable to also leave some good memory for children. Myself, when recalling my tough childhood, is giving me a little bitterness of what I did not receive.
I was a bright student back in primary school (and also secondary school), besides the great achievement in academics, the food I had that time also remain vividly in my mind.
Mom had been very stingy and calculative in giving daily pocket money to me, and as i spent whole day at school, I had to bring home-made food to school. By noon, before I started the tuition sessions, my lunchbox had spoiled, sometimes it emitted pungent smell that it attracted the whole class's attention. Sometimes, I just had to pretend the smell was like that and just ate them as I was hungry. Ive always envy of others whose moms delivered theirs fresh and hot food, or those who can afford to buy nice food from canteen.
Even during my matriculation time, when I was already 18-19 year old, I still suffered the same thing, but in better way. Sometimes, when I ran out of monthly allowance, mom wouldn't believe that and let me starved until I fell sick.
Perhaps being strict in other things maybe good for the children development towards responsible adult life. But, food?Better be generous...
For an instance, during a dinner outside, I let my brother played tablet while we were waiting for the dishes to be served. Husband thought that it was rude to allow him playing that gadget, it seemed like Billy was not discipline enough to him. My judgment during that time, Billy was bored and can't converse with me as usual because my husband was around. It would be awkward for him to talk something non-sense as usual.
When it came to eating part, Billy looked stressed for having to swallow lemon chicken which was too sweet and of poor quality. I offered other dish-the Japanese tofu, but he still can't take it. Then only I asked whether he wanted something else such as grilled chicken wings and etc.
The scenario had pissed husband a bit, and he remarked that I pampered him for not forcing him to take whatever was served on table. Billy almost broke his tears when he heard that, and to me, it was even heart-wrenching when Billy forcing himself finishing the white and dry rice as he was scared that husband would scold me further.
Second episode was when husband traumatised Billy to finish his adult-size noodles during breakfast. Although Billy has a 12-year-old body, but it didn't mean that he could finish the amount of where husband claimed it was also too much for him. My family has always practised to "tapau" leftover food as we know later we would want to eat it again (it is also because the food is usually more than RM5). To my surprise, husband thought the act was embarassing and again lashed out "Next time don't bring your brother out for food anymore,".
Husband did explain to me on his parents had forced him not to waste food regardless how rubbish the taste is, as logically many people on earth are starving for any kind of rice. And he reasoned that pushing children from being too comfortable was also crucial in ensuring they become more resilient in tough environment when they've grown up. He added that one-day when Billy had to work as a labor worker because my over-pampering today, I was part of the blaming of the consequences.
My partner has strong points on the raising children issue. But, I think it is debatable to also leave some good memory for children. Myself, when recalling my tough childhood, is giving me a little bitterness of what I did not receive.
I was a bright student back in primary school (and also secondary school), besides the great achievement in academics, the food I had that time also remain vividly in my mind.
Mom had been very stingy and calculative in giving daily pocket money to me, and as i spent whole day at school, I had to bring home-made food to school. By noon, before I started the tuition sessions, my lunchbox had spoiled, sometimes it emitted pungent smell that it attracted the whole class's attention. Sometimes, I just had to pretend the smell was like that and just ate them as I was hungry. Ive always envy of others whose moms delivered theirs fresh and hot food, or those who can afford to buy nice food from canteen.
Even during my matriculation time, when I was already 18-19 year old, I still suffered the same thing, but in better way. Sometimes, when I ran out of monthly allowance, mom wouldn't believe that and let me starved until I fell sick.
Perhaps being strict in other things maybe good for the children development towards responsible adult life. But, food?Better be generous...
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